How Do You Want to Change? My 21 Day Challenge

How do you want to change?  What gets you out of bed each morning despite wanting to sleep a few more minutes? What’s preventing you from being exactly where you want to be right now in your life?

We all have a little voice in our head that brings us down from time to time.  We all have feelings that terrify us and excite us.  It’s how we deal with those feelings and utilize them for our own personal growth that ends up defining us.

I’ve read that it takes a minimum of 21 days to form a habit.  This can be either negative or positive.  I believe that in order to make a positive change you do need to be actively aware of your habits and what’s fulfilling you.  Surrounding yourself with positive people, people who push and motivate you, is key.  21 days is almost a month of active change and conscious decision making.  A month can change your life.

I’ve been actively working on my own thought process and negative patterns for 2.5 months now.  I already see the results from this, but I also have a long ways to go.  One thing that I dislike that I do is interrupt people mid-conversation.  I used to do this because I didn’t feel like I was being heard, but now I’m aware that I’m not allowing others to be heard when I interrupt them.  It’s an active thing, and I’m increasingly more aware of it.  The key I need to remember is that when I do it I can’t beat myself up about it.  I just need to take a step back and reassess my actions.  I’ll let you know how I’ve changed in this area come August.

Lately, I’ve been noticing more and more the anger that so many people feel and push onto others.  I’ve also had to check in with myself more to ask why I’m getting annoyed at certain individuals.  What is it about myself that’s fueling this feeling?  How can I remove myself from the situation in a loving and positive way?

Being angry is easy, hating people is easy.  Loving and forgiving are not.  When someone cuts you off in traffic it’s easier to curse than to breath and let it go.  It’s easier to live in a negative world than a positive one.

I do think that this is fear based.  People are fearful of being happy.  I believe that this stems from the anxiety that comes from accepting that you’re responsible for your own happiness and outcomes in life.  I’ve noticed that some people tend to blame others for their current situation, rather than taking control and making the change within themselves.  Wheather you’re holding on to past grudges,  or still angry at childhood bullies, you’re the only one who has to live with the internal results of your anger.  You produce what you think, and this is how cycles get started.

It’s easy to get annoyed at people that spew joy and radiate light.  It used to annoy me too.  I couldn’t stand positive people, but now they’re the only people I ever want to surround myself with.  The change came when I took a step back and asked myself what was motivating me.  Why wasn’t I taking control of my own life, my own feelings?

As scary as being happy and letting go is, there’s nothing more beautiful than feeling genuinely good about yourself.  Being able to laugh at yourself, allowing yourself to feel how you feel, accepting that you’re human and that you will make mistakes.  Being positive and happy doesn’t mean not ever feeling sad or down.  It doesn’t mean that you won’t have days where you’re in a slump, or don’t feel great about yourself.  It just means that you’re able to feel all the emotions at a different capacity.  Once you’re in a different headspace I do think you’re able to understand your thought process and the patterns in a healthier way.  And this intern will yield the change within you.

Positive people generally don’t hang out with negative people.  You will attract what you put into the universe.  If you’re in a negative headspace like I was the first step is to acknowledge that you’re in a damaging cycle in the first place.  Once you learn to acknowledge where you are you’ll start flourishing.  This will eventually change your energy and draw the right people into your life.

So I challenge you.  This month and beyond, take a look at who you are, and who you want to be.  What’s currently motivating you?  In what areas of your life do you want to change?  Are you happy with where you’re at?  How do you feel right now and what small change can you make to start turning your life around?

I want to hear from you!  Let me know how you want to change in the comment section below.

Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash


  1. I have been working on this myself, Kels, but certainly not to the extent that you have been. It’s like in the back of my mind and as much as I want it to be a priority I let other things get in the way and LIFE happens. I was blown away by your post and the way you expressed yourself so beautifully and with such clarity! I am so proud of you for the steps you have taken to find yourself. You might enjoy reading a book I recently read called “She’s Still There”….about finding the girl in you. I think you’d like it! I don’t feel I can openly share what it is that I am mainly working on w/my negative thought patterns but….I do thank you for offering me this challenge and I will try to focus on this over the next 21 days….what small change can I make to turn my life around when it has to do w/negative thoughts???? Love you!

    1. I’m so excited to hear that you’re working on yourself, and I’m so happy that you enjoyed this post. It’s a process that we all come to and work on at the pace that’s right for us. Thank you for the book recommendation!! I look forward to seeing you soon to catch up! Love you!

Leave a Comment